The Secret
by BrookenLucas12
Summary: Takes place after Brooke finds out about Peyton and Lucas. [complete]
1. Fairytales

I had a strange desire to write this story, lol. The song is called 'Fairytales' by Jojo.

* * *

**The Secret**  
  
I sit here, on this bed, in this room, tears falling from my eyes. Depression sitting on my lap, I brush them away.  
  
I look out the window and see the rain pour from the sky. Why me? What did I do? I was born into this world for no reason, and now on this early morning I realize it. My heart beats in my chest.  
  
I starts towards my dresser and reach deep inside, where I find a pair of scissors. I start to sob. How could this have been done to me? I fixed Haley and Nathan up! I even took a picture of Jake just for Peyton! It hurt me to say her name. She will never be my friend. But these scissors will be.  
  
I walk towards the bathroom and slam the door, then slide down onto the ground.  
  
You know the story  
  
You read the books  
  
Boy meets girl  
  
Then they fall forever in love  
  
But I know better  
  
So here goes a tale  
  
Of the realest of the real  
  
Listen  
  
I haven't done this in years. I reached up and found a towel. I put it my lap as I cut quietly into my skin. For a second my eyes shut tightly, and then opened. I heaved a delighted sigh and closed my eyes, enjoying the pain.  
  
I sigh again, this time an angry sigh as I realize I have to go to school. Three strikes and I'm out. I can't let them know how I feel.  
  
Now once upon a time in a small world  
  
It was everything that I dreamed of  
  
He was my gem and I was his pearl  
  
Nothing could come between us  
  
A prince charming to call my own  
  
Until the day that he broke my heart  
  
And left me wonderin all alone  
  
Pickin my mind and soul apart  
  
I find my way to the dresser and lean into it. I find a nice long shirt and put it on, smiling into the mirror.  
  
Used to believe in love (I used to believe in love)  
  
Used to believe in fairy tales (In fairy tales)  
  
Since my heart's been crushed (It's been crushed)  
  
I don't believe in a tiny hell (No no no no no)  
  
Don't know which way to turn  
  
Figure it out for myself  
  
I've just started to learn (La da da dee, oh)  
  
There's no such thing as fairy tales  
  
"Hi, Brooke," I whisper, "Time to put on your fake smile. Show the world how amazing you are."  
  
I pick up a book and throw it at the mirror. It shatters into a thousand pieces.  
  
Eight years of bad luck. Oh, well.

* * *

She looks at me and smiles, betrayl shining in her eyes. She wants me to forgive her. She wants me to forget it.  
  
I cut myself for you, Bitch!  
  
She doesn't know, she probably doesn't care.  
  
Is a good story supposed to end  
  
Unhappily ever after  
  
Just as wonderful as it begins  
  
And carry on for a few chapters  
  
Baby how come each time I open up  
  
I can't seem to get past stage one  
  
I guess it's time for me to close up  
  
And go back on the shelf because I'm done  
  
She's been mean to me throughout high school. Since we've been friends, she's pushed me around, and I've let her.  
  
Not anymore, Peyton. Not anymore.  
  
Used to believe in love (I used to believe in love)  
  
Used to believe in fairy tales (In fairy tales)  
  
Since my heart's been crushed (Since my heart's been crushed)  
  
I don't believe in a tiny hell  
  
Don't know which way to turn (I don't know which way to turn)  
  
Figure it out for myself  
  
I've just started to learn (La da da dee oh)  
  
There's no such thing as fairy tales  
  
I see him as well. My heart breaks all over again.  
  
Twinkle twinkle little star  
  
Why do my dreams seem so far (Why they seem so far)  
  
Up above the world so high  
  
Won't somebody tell me why (Can you help me)  
  
Can you help me out  
  
Can you tell me what love is all about  
  
Cause I never known it for myself (Don't believe in fairy tales)  
  
That's why I don't believe in fairy tales no more  
  
He smiles a small smile, he wants to talk. He wants to tell me he's sorry, but he didn't feel that way with me. I look down, and begin to run past him as he yells for me to stop.  
  
Used to believe in love (No more)  
  
Used to believe in fairy tales (I used to believe, I used to believe, I used to believe)  
  
Since my heart's been crushed  
  
I don't believe in a tiny hell (I don't believe in much)  
  
Don't know which way to turn  
  
Figure it out for myself (Oh no no no no no)  
  
I've just started to learn (Just started to learn)  
  
There's no such thing as fairy tales (There's no such thing as fairy tales)  
  
I sit against the stall door and I take out a pair of tweezers. I hear the other girls talking. Talking about how they are in love. Stupid idiots. I dig into my skin and cover my mouth. It hurts. It hurts. I hate him. No, I don't. I love him. I love him. I love him.  
  
Used to believe in love  
  
Used to believe fairy tales (La da da da)  
  
Since my heart's been crushed  
  
I don't believe in a tiny hell  
  
Don't know which way to turn (I don't know which way)  
  
Figure it out for myself  
  
I've just started to learn  
  
No fair, he gets to be happy. Why not me? I want to be happy.  
  
I guess I'll just have to keep my little secret.  
  
There's no such thing as fairy tales

* * *

Good? Bad? Please review. My first short fiction. 


	2. Use My Shoulder

This was really just supposed to be a short fiction, but I'm going to continue since I got such great reviews! I realize that the first chapter was confusing. I was meant to turn the lyrics into italics, but that didn't work out too well, because I forgot. Er, yes. Anyway, if you don't like the fiction I'll just delete the extra parts. The song in this chapter is 'Use My Shoulder' by Jojo.

* * *

**Chapter 2- Use My Shoulder**  
  
I was the most popular girl in school.  
  
That's why her friendship was so unexpected.  
  
_Hey what's your story  
  
Hate to see ya lookin worried  
  
You know you can tell me  
  
Cause I am understanding  
  
Would you mind sharing  
  
What's bothering your happiness  
  
Turn that frown upside down  
  
What's with all this madness  
_  
I sat on the bench by myself, when she sat by me, smiling nervously.  
  
It was like she knew. I'm sure she did. Lucas and her were best friends.  
  
But that didn't matter to me. I needed someone.  
  
"Hi, Tutor Girl." He mumbled weakly.  
  
_If things don't go your way  
  
Use my shoulder to lean on  
  
If things don't go your way  
  
Use my pillow to lay on  
  
If things don't go your way  
  
Use my shoulder to cry on  
  
That's what friends are for  
_  
She nodded as I leaned forward, my face in my hands. I found myself turning my head in her direction. She looked at me like I was a lost child. I was though. I let a few tears fall from my eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered.  
  
I nodded, wiping my eyes and sitting up.  
  
There he was, watching.  
  
Haley looked at him, in a way I wouldn't want to be looked at like.  
  
"Come on," She said, standing up, "Get up."  
  
_I know it's a struggle  
  
You gotta flex your muscle  
  
Don't be scared to hustle  
  
There's no reason to wrestle  
  
Take your time  
  
Clear your mind  
  
You know I am here for you  
  
Don't be scared  
  
Pour out your heart  
  
I'll be there wherever you want  
_  
Her house wasn't a quarter as big as mine.  
  
But as we spoke over a cup of hot chocolate, I wished I could live with her. Or rather, be her.  
  
Nathan wasn't _that_ bad to me.  
  
_If things don't go your way (Your way, your way, your way)  
  
Use my shoulder to lean on  
  
If things don't go your way  
  
Use my pillow to lay on  
  
If things don't go your way  
  
Use my shoulder to cry on  
  
That's what friends are for  
_  
She listened to my problems.  
  
Wow, I had a friend. A new friend.  
  
Best friend. Haley James, Wow.  
  
She was one cool chick.  
  
Her parents would be gone for a week. If I felt lonely I could stay at her house, she told me.  
  
I'd never been so greatful.  
  
_You can tell me (Tell me, tell me)  
  
I'll help you when you help me  
  
Oh baby I'll listen to you  
  
Everything you're goin through  
  
I swear I will  
  
I swear I will  
  
You can tell me (Tell me baby)  
  
And you know you can trust me  
  
Baby I'll listen to you  
  
And everything you're goin through  
  
You know I will  
  
You know I will  
_  
"I'm sorry for being so mean, forever." I say to her. She just smiles.  
  
"I'm over it." She shrugs.  
  
"You are so cool." I can't help but say.  
  
She laughs. "I wish, Miss. Popular."  
  
"Will you be my new best friend?" I ask shyly.  
  
"I would be honored." She replies, giving me a friendly hug. I needed a hug.  
  
_That's what friends are for_

* * *

Yay! Did you like it? I thought it would be very cool is Brooke and Haley became best friends. This fic, if you can't already, will be a song-fiction. So, yes. Feedback, please! 


	3. Fly

I've found the direction in which I'm turning in. Yay! The song for this chapter is called "Fly" By Hilary Duff.

* * *

**The Secret **

**Chapter 3: Fly**

_In a moment, everything can change,  
  
Feel the wind on your shoulder,  
  
For a minute, all the world can wait,  
  
Let go of your yesterday  
_  
I watched as Haley and Nathan bonded.  
  
I shouldn't be jealous.  
  
I once had that.  
  
Once seems so far away.  
  
_Can you hear it calling?  
  
Can you feel it in your soul?  
  
Can you trust this longing?  
  
And take control  
_  
Tree Hill High School seemed to be your average school.  
  
Lies lingered through the air, though.  
  
I wonder about him all the time.  
  
Sometimes when I can't sleep, I pick up the phone to call _her_.  
  
But I know I can't.  
  
_Fly  
  
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away  
  
You can shine,  
  
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,  
  
And start to try, cause it's your time,  
  
Time to fly  
_  
I breathe in as I see him talk with his friends, waiting eagerly for Haley to return.  
  
Why must she talk with her boyfriend for years with no end?  
  
She's been good to me, who am I to complain?  
  
I know she and Lucas still speak.  
  
I don't care though, I wouldn't expect her to stop for me.  
  
Lucas turns to me. Hidden underneath his smile is regret.  
  
Not for cheating on me, but for dating me.  
  
_All your worries, leave them somewhere else,  
  
Find a dream you can follow,  
  
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,  
  
And the world's feeling hollow  
_  
Haley and Nathan share a kiss.  
  
They look a lot Lucas and I did.  
  
Maybe I'll pull a former-best-friend stunt and cheat on Haley with Nathan.  
  
No, I'm not evil.  
  
_Can you hear it calling?  
  
Can you feel it in your soul?  
  
Can you trust this longing?  
  
And take control  
_  
Lucas begins his way towards me.  
  
He starts talking.  
  
His lips are moving, but I don't hear anything.  
  
I stand up.  
  
"Save it." I yell before heading towards Haley and Nathan.  
  
_Fly  
  
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away  
  
You can shine,  
  
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,  
  
And start to try, cause it's your time,  
  
Time to fly  
_  
I lay my head on Haley's shoulder as she speaks with Nathan.  
  
Nathan gives her another kiss before leaving.  
  
I interlace our arms and start walking towards first period.  
  
She turns to me with a smile.  
  
"I'm glad you're my friend, Brookie."  
  
_And when you're down and feel alone,  
  
And want to run away,  
  
Trust yourself and don't give up,  
  
You know you're better than anyone else_  
  
During break, I find my way to the bathroom, and pull down my sleeve, showing myself a numerous amount of cuts.  
  
Haley's friendship helps.  
  
Just not enough.  
  
Not enough to stop the pain.  
  
_In a moment, everything can change,  
  
Feel the wind on your shoulder,  
  
For a minute, all the world can wait,  
  
Let go of your yesterday  
_  
Peyton has tried to talk to me more then four times.  
  
Luke won't stop bothering me.  
  
My arms are cut.  
  
My heart is broken.  
  
What more is there for me to explain?  
  
_Fly  
  
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away  
  
You can shine,  
  
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,  
  
And start to try,  
  
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,  
  
And start to try, cause it's your time,  
  
Time to fly  
_  
Peyton has only been my best friend since forever.  
  
How could she hurt me?  
  
During practice, how can she look me in the eye, and say she's sorry, it was a mistake?  
  
I lean my head back into the stall, letting my problems drip away, just as quickly as the blood.  
  
_In a moment, everything can change_


	4. Never Again

Alright, not much to say. The song for this chapter is 'Never Again' by Justin Timberlake.

* * *

**The Secret  
  
Chapter 4: Never Again  
**  
Who would have thought I would have carried extra money with me. And I thought I would have to go to the ATM. I grinned at Tandy, who was the bitch from hell who wanted me to suffer and not get the guy.  
  
_Would have given up my life for you  
  
Guess it's true what they say about love, it's blind  
  
Girl, you lied straight to my face lookin' in my eyes  
  
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life  
  
And all you had to do was apologize  
_  
The Boy Toy auction. One of Tree Hill High's biggest events. Hot boys model, and girls get them.  
  
Of course, since my guy was taken (Damn, Tandy) I had to watch the last four guys perform.  
  
Tim sucks. No offence to him. I don't bid on him.  
  
Jake comes out and I find myself grinning. Why the hell not? "50 Dollars!"  
  
"75 Dollars!" Who the hell yelled that?  
  
"100 Dollars!" If this idiot bids higher then this, I'm going to just bid it all.  
  
"112 dollars!" Oh, well. Her loss.  
  
"200 Dollars!" I yell standing up, a cocky smile on my face. I look in Peyton's direction, who looks somewhat sad. Hm, maybe she wanted Jake. Too bad, she can tell that to my wrists.  
  
_You didn't say you're sorry  
  
I don't understand  
  
You don't care that you hurt me  
  
And now I'm half a man  
  
That I used to be when it was you and me  
  
You didn't love me enough  
  
My heart may never mend  
  
And you'll never get to love me again  
  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
_  
Jake's pretty hot, I must admit. As we leave, I find myself liking him even more then I did before.  
  
Jake even looks pretty happy. A good guy like Jake, that is so what I need.  
  
I smile at him, and interlace my arm with his as we walk towards the limo.  
  
"Woah, Brooke," He looks it over. "You went pretty far this time, eh?"  
  
I grin. "You like?"  
  
He nods, a smirk on his face. "Uh-huh."  
  
_Sadness has me at the end of the line  
  
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine  
  
And loneliness only wants you back here with me  
  
Common sense knows you're not good enough for me  
  
And all you had to do was apologize and mean it  
_  
"So," He says as we eat together at a small table in the club, "Why didn't you get Lucas? I mean, this is great and all, but aren't you two dating?"  
  
"Let's not talk about Lucas, Jake. I'd much rather focus on you."  
  
"Alright." That's all he says. He knows what pain feels like. He won't push me any farther.  
  
He puts his hand out. "Care to dance?"  
  
I smile and nod. "Sure."  
  
_But you didn't say you're sorry  
  
I don't understand  
  
You don't care that you hurt me  
  
And now I'm half a man  
  
That I used to be when it was you and me  
  
You didn't love me enough  
  
My heart may never mend  
  
And you'll never get to love me  
  
_Jake's a pretty good dancer. We're having a grand old time.  
  
My lips curl, as he holds me close for a slow song.  
  
How hot is a guy who can dance?  
  
Very hot.  
  
Lucas and I used to dance together. Sometimes, he'd take me to a little park out of Tree Hill where there was a private area. He would bring a stereo, and we would slow dance together, holding each other. He would whisper beautiful things to me, and I would tell him that he was amazing. And he would tell me he loved me, and I would say the same thing back. And before we knew it, we would be inside his truck, where it was warm, taking it a step forward.  
  
_It's wish like hell, I could go back in time  
  
Maybe then I could see how  
  
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try  
  
But it's too late, it's over now  
  
Hey...ooh...ooh...ooh  
_  
Jake's great, but he isn't Lucas. After dancing, we head to his house in the Limo.  
  
We're talking about everything but Lucas. And he'll keep it at that.  
  
"So, Jake," I say, a small smile spreading across my face. "When are you going to give me that goodnight kiss?" I say seductively as I shift my body so I'm on top of him.  
  
He looks at me questioningly, like Lucas used to.  
  
"Brooke, I'm not sure we can do this."  
  
"Do what?" I ask innocently as I kiss his neck.  
  
"Brooke," He pulls my head away from his neck, hesitantly. "I like you a lot. But I like someone else."  
  
"Oh." I whisper leaning back. "Who?"  
  
As the words leave his mouth, I feel anger boil up in side of me. "Peyton."  
  
I ignore the anger and give him a fake smile. "Okay, can I still give you a goodnight kiss?"  
  
He grins. "Why the hell not?"  
  
My lips graze over his, and he invites his tongue into my mouth. Our kiss lasts a good minute before I pull away, and roll off of him.  
  
"Your a good kisser, Jake."  
  
He looks at me, sideways, quite content.  
  
_You didn't say you're sorry  
  
I don't understand  
  
You don't care that you hurt me  
  
And now I'm half a man  
  
That I used to be when it was you and me  
  
You didn't love me enough  
  
My heart may never mend  
  
And you'll never get to love me again, yeah  
_  
I practiced my words as I walked towards him. He was always where he usually was, and I made my way closer to him.  
  
He's confused. He looks up at me. "Brooke, what's wrong?"  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I think I'm pregnant."  
  
A troubled look crosses his face.  
  
_Again, yeah...eah...  
  
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah...  
  
Never get to love me  
_  
We sit in my car quietly. The man I love, but want to hate, and a boy who's just doing the right thing.  
  
He looks towards me, the drug store sign flashing, and he looks down, nervously.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whisperes.  
  
"Me too." I say, before opening the door and walking towards the store. 


	5. Since You've Been Gone

I haven't updated in forever, I know. Enjoy the chapter. Song is by Kelly Clarkson: Since You've Been Gone.

* * *

**The Secret**

**Chapter 5: Since You've Been Gone**

_Here's the thing we started off friends  
It was cool but it was all pretend  
Yeah yeah  
Since you've been gone_

_"How do I even know it's mine?"_

He'd just called me a slut. He didn't actually say it , but he might as well have. His words had stung , a slap on the face. And for once, I didn't have a sharp remark to slap him back with.

And suddenly I didn't have to. I was saved by the phone. I picked up the familiar purple object , frowning at the unrecognizable number.

"Hello?" I barked into the phone, very much pissed off.

"Is this Brooke Davis?" No, it's her grandmother. What do you think , Genius?

"Yeah, this is her." Was I being rude? I didn't really care.

"This is Dr. Greene," He paused for a second, allowing me to silently curse at myself, "And your results are in. You're pregnant , Brooke. Now, I understand that you are underage, so If you wanted to come in and discuss your options, I could schedule anoth-" I cut him off before he could say another word.

"Thank you." My voice now wobbled , no longer bitchy or confident. I hung up, putting the phone into my backpack, before throwing it into my car.

I looked up at him for just a second , fire burning in my eyes. "Trust me, it's yours." With that , not looking back , I sped off. But not towards home, towards my best friend's house.

She was at the door in seconds. "Hey, Brooke." She smiled at me in a way that told me she probably wasn't alone.

"Hi," I looked at her for a good ten seconds. "Listen, is now a bad time, because I could just come back later.." I trailed off, looking down at my hands.

"No, no. Come in." She opened the door wider, to expose a very annoyed looking Nathan.

Jackass, no wonder my Bimbo ex-best friend dropped him.

This wasn't fair. I couldn't be cynical to Nathan because of my own mistakes.

I say hi to him softly, offering an apology with my eyes.

He doesn't take the hint , but says hi back.

"Haley, I kinda need to talk to you." I tell her.

Nathan finally takes the hint. "Okay, I'll just go. See you later Hales," He hesitates for just a second, "Brooke."

He leaves, and suddenly, my eyes start watering and I'm shaking.

"Brooke, Honey, what's wrong?" She's at my side in seconds.

"I'm pregnant , Haley." I'm sobbing , and suddenly she looks shocked , and she backs away.

"With Lucas's child?"

I nod , and I can barely see anything due to the amount of tears in my eyes.

_You dedicated you took the time  
Wasn't long till I called you mine  
Yeah  
Since you've been gone_

She comforts me for about an hour , before I convince her everything's okay and stumble off towards the bathroom.

I lean my head against the door, and suddenly , I have this urge.

I'm up in seconds, looking around the room.

And then I see it , shiny and new, the razor.

_I'm pregnant now_, I tell myself. _I can't do this anymore._

But my mind disagrees.

_Yes Brooke, you can._

_And all you'd ever hear me say  
Is how I pictured me with you  
That's all you'd ever hear me say_

The blood gushes out of my wrist , and I'm crying out , but trying to keep it quiet.

I've cut slightly too deep , and the pain is gut wrenching.

But I'll get over it . Better then having to actually deal with life , right?

And then I hear his voice.

I lean my head against the door again, searching for a sound.

He's here.

He's talking to Haley.

One more cut won't hurt.

_How can I put it? you put me on  
I even fell for that stupid love song  
Yeah yeah  
Since you've been gone_

I leave the bathroom, bagging all evidence, and tossing it into the trashcan.

Haley pulled on my hand, leading me towards her bedroom.

"It'll be okay, Brookie." She mumbles to me.

But the tears are back , and I can't stop crying.

She let's me lay down on her bed , and I crawl gratefully under the covers.

"Where's Lucas?" I ask her weakly.

"He left. You can't handle any stress Brooke, you're pregnant. I told him to leave."

Wow, I really love this Tutor Girl.

"Thanks, Tutor Girl." I tell her, giving her a small hug before settling into a pillow.

"No problem, Tigger." I almost laugh , but I'm too tired.

_How come I never hear you say  
I just wanna be with you  
I guess you never felt that way_

I hear her leave the room , probably off to make me food.

What a great best friend.

I snuggle deeper into the bed , wishing my problems would wash away, as quickly as the blood from my wrist had.

_Since you've been gone  
Since you've been gone  
Since you've been gone_


	6. We Might As Well Be Stangers

Okay, so I've got like 10 chapters left , tops. I'm working on finishing this story. I'm not sure many people like it. Let me know if you do. Okay, here is the next chapter. Pretty soon, isn't it? I'm not doing another one of those, don't update for nine months things, yet. This song is We Might As Well Be Strangers, by Keane. Damn, I love that band.

* * *

**The Secret**

**Chapter 6 : We Might As Well Be Strangers**

_I don't know your face, no more  
Or feel the touch, that I adore  
I don't know your face, no more  
It's just a place, I'm looking for_

I looked into the mirror, taking a good look at myself. If I kept this baby, I wouldn't keep my figure. I would be constantly busy, and say good-bye to my party life.

But if I had an abortion, I would have to live with the everlasting guilt of killing the life of an innocent child.

Adoption was clearly out of the question. I would get fat anyway, and have to live with guilt of giving away a child that would grow to hate me and go all psycho and stuff.

In the end, I knew what the solution was. I'd have to keep this baby, that's just how it was.

Don't have sex if you aren't ready to face the consequences, kids.

A knock at the door tore me out of daze. I pulled a sweatshirt on over myself, seeing as how my cuts were now extremely visible.

I opened the door to see Peyton. Instead of ripping her head off, I stood there, a questioning look on my face.

"Can I come in?" She asks me hopefully.

I shrug, opening the door a little wider.

"Brooke, I know you don't want to be my friend anymore, but I thought I would let you know that I'm not going to bother you anymore."

"You're not?" I say something for the first time since she's knocked on the door, and it's lame.

"No. If you hate me, there's nothing I can do about it. I just want you to know that if you need anything, I'll be waiting for you, because even if I don't have your friendship, you'll always have mine."

I can't help myself. It must be the pregnancy. I throw my arms around her, letting tears poor out of my eyes. "You have my friendship." I mumble into her shirt.

"I do?"

"Peyton, you hurt me really badly. And, we may never be the same, but I'm going through something tough right now, and I really need someone to help me through it." So I was kind of being friends with her for selfish reasons, but she didn't seem to mind.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything." I tell her, sinking into my bed.

_We might as well be strangers, in another town  
We might as well be living, in a different world  
We might as well  
We might as well  
We might as well_

"You're pregnant?" She looks seriously shocked.

"With Lucas's baby."

"Wow."

"Trust me, I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"What is there to do? I'm going to keep it."

"You're going to be a mom at seventeen. That's so crazy."

"Tell me about it."

She hugs me. "I'm sorry for what I did." She's kind of crying.

"It wouldn't have lasted anyway." I shrug.

"Yeah, it would have. If it weren't for me, you and Lucas would be together, and you would be happy, and going through this together."

I'm kind of crying now too.

"You are going through this together, right?"

"I'm not quite sure about that yet."

"What? Brooke, he may be an ass, but he has a right to know."

"I know. I'll talk to him later."

_I don't know your thoughts these days  
We're strangers in, an empty space  
I don't understand your heart  
It's easier, to be apart_

But as he's saying all these wonderful things to me, about how we'll get through it together, and how he'll be a great dad. I just can't.

Tears are running down my face, as I realize what I have to do. What I'm doing to save him from his own mistake.

"I lied." I whisper.

And that's when I saw the anger.

When he looked for reasons to prove me wrong, but couldn't find any.

When he leaves, I find myself crying and sobbing. What am I going to do? I'm alone.

I brought this upon myself. I can handle it.

But I know I can't.

At least he can be happy.

_We might as well be strangers, in another town  
We might as well be living, in another time  
We might as well  
We might as well  
We might as well, be strangers now - be strangers now_

The next day, while sitting in my bedroom, watching Gilmore Girls and thinking of baby names, the door opens and then slams in seconds. I sit up, and see a very pissed off looking Tutor Girl.

"Hi Haley." I lean back against the bed.

"I can't believe you, Brooke!"

"What'd I do?"

"Pretend you were pregnant to Lucas!"

"Haley, I lied."

"Yeah, I realized that Brooke."

"No, I lied when I told him I lied."

"Why?" She's frustrated.

"Because he deserves a life. I did it for him."

And all her rage is gone. "Oh."

She sits down, and interlaces her arms with mine.

"You're really something, Brooke, ya know that?"

"Yeah."

_For all I know of you now  
For all I know of you now  
For all I know of you now  
For all I know_

"Have you decided what you're doing?" I'm at the doctor's with Haley. At least I'm not completely alone.

"I'm keeping the baby."

"And the father?"

"Out of the picture." I look down at my hands, then back to Haley, who smiles sadly. She thinks what I'm doing is wrong, but she won't change my mind.

He sees me at school, and he ignores me, because he is really truly angry at me for lying.

If only he knew. We barely know each other anymore. It's like, we might as well be strangers.


	7. Hard To Find

Another chapter, yay! Thanks for all the reviews. This chapter's lyrics are '_Hard To Find_' By the American Analog Set. 

_We stay hard to find  
'Cause it's too hard to take it  
And we keep that in mind  
That we're older and jaded  
We can't shake it_

_Pacific to Eastern we're bordered and hated  
So we stay hard to find  
'Cause it's too hard to take it  
No, we can't fake it_

I squeeze my eyes shut quickly before opening them again. "Okay, so how am I going to do this?"

Haley, who is sitting comfortably on my bed, reading a magazine looks up at me for just a second. "Simple. You're going to say, 'Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant.' Will you support me, or not?"

"And what if they say no?" I'm panicking because, quite frankly, I can't afford to be pregnant and homeless.

"Brooke, they won't abandon you, they're your parents!" She says is like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Someone may want to tell them that."

She closes the magazine, and a look of pity spreads across her face. "Brooke, I know they haven't been the best parents to you, but it would be so horrible to do something like disown your child because she's pregnant, that not even they would do it."

"I'm just not sure."

She places a hand on my shoulder, kissing my head briefly. "Everything's going to be okay, Brooke."

I'm not as stupid as I look, even I know she was just saying this to make me feel better. And I can deal. But the whole, being homeless thing? Still doesn't suit too well with me.

"Whatever. Peyton's coming over later on, so we can all go shopping."

Haley jumps up an down excitedly. "For Baby Scott!"

"Baby Davis." I correct her, picking up a baby name book.

"I still think he deserves to know." She grumbles, collapsing on the bed.

"Of course you do."

* * *

"How many months along are you?" Let me tell you, this girl is annoyingly perky, and it's pissing me off. Oh wait, doesn't she remind you of who someone used to be? Oh that's right, me.

"Three and a half. But how does that matter?" Haley elbows me. She thinks I'm being rude.

"I was just wondering."

"Okay, well, thanks." I walk away from the saleswoman, Haley and Peyton close on my tail.

"Talk about bitchy." Peyton mumbles.

"Blondie, I was not being bitchy. She was just being perky."

"Okay, Brooke." Haley pats my shoulder, and I roll my eyes, looking through racks.

"Brooke, just because your pregnant doesn't mean you can't wear tank tops?" Peyton tells me, and she steps closer, looking through the racks.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been wearing like, long-sleeved shirts all the time, and that's just so…" She trails off, thinking of what to say, to not sound rude.

"Not you." Haley finishes, stepping beside me.

They think the reason I'm wearing a long-sleeved sweatshirt all the time because I'm pregnant? I cut myself! As friends, they should know this stuff. Tutor Girl, pull up my sleeve. Goldilocks, hug me, and tell me you love me! Do something!

I can't really blame them. If it were up to them, they would know. I'm just too stupid to tell them.

We all hear a familiar voice and turn towards the sound.

Jake. Cute, he's with Jenny. And …. Oh wait, hold up. That is not Lucas Scott standing next to him! Yes it is.

"Shit!" I curse, looking up to my slightly taller friend.

Peyton looks panicky. "Hide!"

Haley, Peyton, and I throw ourselves underneath a sales rack, holding each other close to each other as we all try and fit underneath, without letting our legs show.

"I told you we should have gone somewhere out of this town!" I growl to my two best friends.

"Maybe if you'd just tell Lucas.."

"Not an option Tutor Girl."

"Brooke, we're not going to sit under this rack all day."

"We most certainly are!" I yell in a harshed whisper.

Haley rolls her eyes.

I start giggling. I mean, when you think of it, the situation we're in is kind of funny. Three girls, one pregnant, scrunched up underneath a rack, trying to avoid the father of the baby the pregnant girl's carrying, and his good friend who her cheating best friend has a major crush on.

So does Haley. And pretty soon, Peyton is too. And then we're in full fledged laughter, cracking up.

We're trying really hard not too, but we can't help it, we're cracking up.

To be honest , I hadn't been more happy about anything in what seemed like months.

Our laughing comes to an abrupt halt, when we hear a shuffling and realize it's the clothes being pushed apart on the rack.

Jake and Lucas are looking at us like we're naked homeless men licking milk off of the ground. We must have looked a hell of a lot just as interesting as they did, because suddenly, Jake's laughing.

Lucas isn't. Maybe he knows I'm pregnant. Or maybe he's still pissed off at me for the whole, I lied thing. Which, when you think about it was a very selfless act.

"Um, what are you girls doing in a sale rack?" Jake still looks amused, and he's still chuckling.

"In a baby store?" Lucas adds.

"Well, it's a funny story actually…" I laugh nervously, my eyes darting towards Haley and Peyton.

Lucas looks beyond pissed now. "How is it funny, exactly?"

"We thought we would buy Jenny a present because of how nice Jake's been to us all lately, and let's face it , she's just so damn cute. Anyway, we were in the store, when we saw you two, and we didn't really want you to know what we were doing, so we jumped into this sale rack." I swear I could have kissed Tutor Girl right then and there. She has got to be the smartest person I know.

Lucas straightens up. "Oh."

"Yep." Peyton laughs, and I can visibly see her loosening up.

"Well," Jake chuckles, "Jokes up, so you can come out of hiding now."

"Oh, right." I smile sheepishly stepping out of the rack.

* * *

Once we've left the shop, I realize something. I turn to my friends, and I don't even have to say anything. They already know.

From now on, a lot has to change. I can't drink, or do cheerleading, or anything like that.

But most importantly, I can't be shown.

If I don't want Lucas to know that I'm pregnant, I'm going to have to be really hard to find.


	8. Dangerous To Know

I've finally updated. I'm so glad. I've been thinking lately, and I've found the next three songs for the next three chapters! Yes! Hehe. I'm going to Catalina on Sunday until Friday, so I won't be updating. This chapter's song is Dangerous To Know by Hilary Duff. Here are Chapter Seven's reviews:

**Blunderful Ballerina**: Haha, I was going to make it dramatic, but decided it would be better if I added a little comedy before all the drama! Thanks for reviewing!

**Duckygirl**: Thanks! I'm glad you like the story!

**Tamplin**: Don't worry, he'll find out soon enough, and we can only hope he chooses the best option once he does.

**HalesnLukeBFF4ever**: Thanks like so much! Lol!

_Some secrets need to be kept  
Some stories should never be told  
Some reasons shouldn't be understood  
They just might turn your blood cold_

_Who needs all the answers?  
Who takes all the chances?  
Who said the truth's gonna save you?  
When the truth can be dangerous_

_Like the way I feel  
It's all right to steal  
What I need from you  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous   
Dangerous to know_

_I was a law onto myself  
When you found me out on my own  
Together nothing was sacred  
Together we where alone_

_Who needs all the questions?  
Who lost their direction?  
Who said a lie's gonna break you?  
When a lie could be dangerous_

_Like the way I feel  
It's all right to steal  
What I need from you  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous   
Dangerous to know_

_Ignorance is bliss  
You're safe when you resist  
There's no safety in a kiss like this  
It's dangerous  
So kiss me  
Kiss me_

_Like the way I feel  
It's all right to steal  
What I need from  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous   
Dangerous  
Like the way I feel  
It's all right to steal  
What I need from  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous  
Dangerous to know_

_Some secrets need to be kept _

I shift my gaze nervously from the plate that had been so perfectly set up by our latest maid, Rosario, up to my parents. My clammy hands smooth out my black and white polka-dot dress, as I sigh.

My mother is looking at me expectantly, staring at me with her eyes that remind me so much of my own. "Brooklyn is there something you want to tell us?"

There it was. My real first name. One that I hadn't gone by since I was about three. If any vindictive person found out , they could use the fact against me. My name had been an epidural-enhanced decision, thanks to a poster of the city of Brooklyn hanging on the wall, instead of the flashy name 'Brooke' that would make anyone believe that the baby had been so beautiful that her parents had felt it necessary to name her after the legendary beautiful actress, Brooke Shields.

I bit my lip, contemplating my choices. I could either tell them, and hope they didn't kick me out, or let them find out on their own terms, and expect to be kicked out.

"I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping the baby." I look between my mother and father, who both seem to be in shock.

My dad laughs bitterly. "I'm not exactly surprised."

"Brooke, what do you think this could do to our family's reputation?" Anger is apparent in her voice, and I swear I could have laughed right then and there.

I was going to be having a baby, and all my mom could think to care about was her status in society.

My lips curl down into a frown. "I don't know, Mom. I was just wondering what you suggested I do?"

"Pack your stuff." My father says simply, beginning to eat again.

My eyes water, as he says the word. That's it. I'm going to be homeless for the rest of my life, and my dad couldn't feel less guilty about it.

"You're making me live on the street?" I can tell I sound lost, like a young girl searching for the answers. I guess I kind of was, and I'd already been so many times before. I could proudly pronounce myself a pregnant six year old.

My mom starts laughing, and my dad smirks. "No dear. That would completely shatter our reputation. Your Aunt Rebecca lives in Raleigh, and you'll be going to stay with her until the child is born. We'll be supplying a monthly allowance for you and your child. No one in Tree Hill asks, and if anyone in Raleigh asks, it's Rebecca's child. Simple as that."

Well, it's better then being homeless. But still, it's horrible. They're going to make me leave my home to go stay in a place I hardly know, and deny my child is mine? No way. I'll take the money, but if anyone asks, my baby is my baby.

And my parents can deal with that.

"Fine." I mutter, standing up from the table, feeling completely numb. I walk towards my room, slamming the door. My bedside table stares at me, luring me towards it. I find myself moving slowly towards the brown object, and pretty soon I feel my arms looking through the table furiously, trying to find the tiny silver object I know so well.

It's wrong. I'm pregnant, I realize that. But It's not like I'll be hurting my baby in any way, and now causes for desperate measures.

Minutes later, I feel the blood trickle down my arms, and I'm satisfied. God, how sick and twisted am I, that I enjoy this pain?

My parents want me to keep my baby a secret, that's why. When Lucas told his Mom I was pregnant, I'm almost sure she accepted our baby with open arms. My parents? No way in hell would _their_ daughter be caught pregnant at sixteen.

As I laid down onto my bed, allowing tears to stream down my face, I reached underneath my pillow, pulling out a book entitled '_Baby Names_'. I sigh dreamily, running my hands over the glossy cover.

My fingers open the book to a random page, and my eyes land on the first name on the page. Summer. Summer Davis, that just could work.

I guess this secret is just special to me, and for others, dangerous to know.


	9. The Getaway

Finally, I have finally finished chapter nine! Okay, my internet isn't working right now, so I can't post the last chapter's reviews, but I just want to say thanks for reviewing to everyone, because I know you all left great ones! Okay, the song for this chapter is 'The Getaway' by Hilary Duff.

* * *

**The Secret**

**Chapter Nine**

_Here I am again  
Talking to myself  
Sitting at a red light  
Both hands on the wheel  
How am I supposed to feel?  
So much running through my mind  
First you wanna be free  
Now you say you need me  
Can't make signals in signs  
It's so hard to let you in  
Thinking you might slam the breaks again_

_CHORUS  
Put the pedal down  
Heading out of town  
Gotta make a getaway  
The traffic in my brain's driving me insane  
This is more than I can take  
You told me that you loved me first  
Then throw your heart into reverse  
I gotta getaway_

_I can't keep coming back to you  
Every time you're in the mood  
To whisper something sweet in my ear  
It's so hard to move on  
'Cause every time I think you're gone  
You show up in my rear view mirror_

_Is this just a detour?  
'Cause I gotta be sure  
That you really knew what you said  
It's so hard to let you in  
Thinking you might slam the brakes again_

_REPEAT CHORUS_

_To a place where I can be redefined  
Where you're out of sight  
And you're out of mind  
But the truth is I can't even say goodbye_

_Here I am again  
Talking to myself  
Sitting at a red light  
Both hands on the wheel  
How am I supposed to feel  
So much running through my mind_

_REPEAT CHORUS_

_Getaway, getaway, getaway  
Getaway, getaway, getaway  
Getaway, getaway, getaway_

As I hit the gas pedal of my small Volkswagen and proceed forward, I watch as my mother's figure disappears.

I wish she cared for me, like Haley and Peyton do. When I told them I was leaving, the amount of tears that flowed from their eyes were absolutely endless.

I couldn't stop myself. I had started crying too. I really didn't want to leave, but it wasn't my choice. My father had full control of my bank account , and there was no way he'd let me show my face in Tree Hill.

I sigh, stopping at a red light, wiping away the tears I can already feel coming on. It was a shame I was leaving because honestly, I loved it here. Tree Hill was my home, and it was my favorite place in the world.

I would never admit it , but every time I'd come home from camp, or from a summer trip, I'd feel so happy to be back.

Believe it or not , Tree Hill had a lot that you could only notice by living here full time. Like for instance, you can't do anything without running into at least one person you know. If you go to the mall, expect to see at least two people from school just lounging around.

Tree Hill even had a smell. Not a bad smell. It constantly smelled like flowers, yet like there was a barbeque going on somewhere. I used to sit on my front porch just sniffing the air, as weird as that sounds.

I break out of my trance when I hear my phone ring.

"Hello?" I'm distracted , can't this person see? I'm trying to think.

"Brooke!" It's Haley, and she sounds really excited.

"Tutor Girl, you don't have to sound that happy that I'm leaving." The sun looks like it might be setting sometime soon, and I feel like my heart's going to drop. My last sunset in Tree Hill.

"Brooke, you don't understand! Nathan and I are getting married!"

I slam my foot onto the break, and feel my baby kick in anger as I fly backward into my chair.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, I'm getting married! We're doing it now, and I want you to be my maid of honor. There aren't many people being invited.."

"Haley! You're getting married!" Suddenly the sun doesn't look like it'll be going anywhere for a while.

"Yes, now get your ass over here!"

"Over where?"

"To the beach!"

"How romantic…" I coo excitedly.

"It won't be if you aren't here."

"First, thanks for the compliment. Second, you know that isn't true. Third, I'm on my way out of Tree Hill right now, so you better make this something for me to remember for the rest of my life."

"It will be. Brooke, I'm getting married!" She squeals.

"I know!" I can't help it , I'm squealing now too. My little Tutor Girl is getting married!

I swerve my car around so quickly, every car behind me breaks insanely. I wave at them before zooming off to the Tree Hill Beach, just about to witness something beautiful happen.

I stop the car, running towards the beach, hoping I'm not late. As I stop and catch my breath, I suddenly see Haley, wringing her wrists nervously.

Stupid girl, doesn't she know something amazing is about to happen with her and Nathan?

I embrace her tightly, and she returns the hug. "Brooke, I'm so glad you came."

I nod, but find myself telling her what I'll be doing soon anyway. "I'm going to be gone soon, Haley. You know that, right?"

She shakes her head 'yes', and I see tears form in her eyes. "Haley, don't worry! Do you think I'd leave if I knew you weren't going to be taken care of?"

"No."

"Then trust me. He loves you, I know he does."

"Me too."

"Then don't be afraid."

"I won't be."

* * *

The marriage itself made me cry, and during the vows, I was completely balling, damn hormones.

When I finally left Haley and Nathan, I slid into my car, hitting the button that would start up my stereo, and I sped away into the darkness.

I wished so badly that Luke would have asked me to marry him. I wish more then anything he would have loved me, but it's too bad. It's too bad because I know he'll never love me, but I'll always love him.

I pass the 'Leaving Tree Hill' sign, and tears fill my eyes, and pretty soon, I'm crying out loud, because I'm so scared. I don't want to leave, I don't want to be unloved, but more then anything, I don't want to be alone.

But I'm sure I actually won't be alone, not anymore. Baby Davis will always be there for me, and love me unconditionally.

Inside I know though. I know that I'm just trying to run away.

I'm trying to get away.


	10. Your ExLover is Dead

**Author's Note: **I hadn't planned on ending the story this way, and I'm sorry it's so abrupt, and out of nowhere, but I just don't have time to continue this story. If it makes anyone feel any better, it was going to end in a couple chapters anyway, only the outcome would have been different. The song this final chapter is, 'Your Ex-Lover is Dead' by Stars.

-

**The Secret**

**Chapter Ten: Your Ex-Lover is Dead**

_When there is nothing left to burn  
You have to set yourself on fire_

The road to Raleigh was a long stretch of land before me, and I was completely terrified of what life would be like there.

People would obviously judge me. Why wouldn't they? I'd be a seventeen year old mother, watching them go off to their high school proms, while I was forced to baby-sit.

Maybe I'd make a couple friends? God, I hoped so. Life was completely unbearable to go through alone.

_God that was strange to see you again  
Introduced by a friend of a friend  
Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before"  
In that instant it started to pour_

The music on the radio suddenly stopped, and was replaced with static. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on!" I banged my hands on the steering wheel, annoyed. Finally calming myself down, I leaned over, towards the glove compartment.

Opening it up, in search of a good CD, I gasped when instead, a picture of Lucas fell from it.

Not able to breathe, I picked the photograph from the ground, tears flooding my eyes. God, I loved him. And what was worse- he'd never know. And he'd probably never care.

I stared at the picture, running my hands over his face.

I was so involved, that I didn't even see the large semi-truck, as it came towards me.

_Captured a taxi despite all the rain  
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain  
And all of that time you thought I was sad  
I was trying to remember your name_

My car overturned three times, and shattered into a hundred pieces, with me inside it.

I wasn't killed instantly.

That's what the doctor told my aunt and parents, regretfully, when they reached the hospital.

I suffered for a good three minutes, he told them, which I did. In those last three minutes of my life, I cried. I held the picture of Lucas towards my heart, using just my arm.

The baby was gone. I cried about that too. The one thing that would have loved me forever was gone. It didn't matter so much, though, because I knew I'd be going soon too.

I could hear screams from all around me, but I couldn't bring myself to do the same. I simply laid there, crying, and thinking of Lucas, and my baby.

_This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin  
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in  
And now you're outside me you see all the beauty  
Repent all your sin_

I was a shattered mess, when they found me. The police officers at the scene shed a few tears at my state.

"She was pregnant," One said sadly.

"What a beautiful girl," Another commented.

I was a bloody mess, literally. And one officer leaned down, picking up the picture of Lucas, and then regretfully, placing it back down beside me.

_It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose  
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose  
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news  
From the house down the road, from real love_

Peyton was the first person my mother called. Actually, the only person. She'd known I was popular, but she'd assumed my only real friend was Peyton. P. Sawyer had taken the news badly. She'd cried for a good hour or so, just sitting there, clutching the phone to her heart.

When she could finally breathe again, she picked up the phone, calling Haley.

Haley found out about my death on her wedding night. At first, she didn't believe it. I'd been with her just hours before! Nathan held her close, as she cried, shaking her head into his chest.

She cried herself to sleep, and Nathan lay there beside her, dazed.

Peyton called Lucas, too.

He didn't say anything at first, completely in shock. Then, the tears came. He and Peyton cried together.

And then she told him I'd been pregnant. And that just made things worse.

He told her he'd made a mistake, hurting me. He told her he'd loved me. He'd been in love with me.

There was no jealousy in her voice. There was no jealousy in her soul. Only regret. Like his.

_Live through this and you won't look back  
Live through this and you won't look back  
Live through this and you won't look back_

A memorial was held for me and my baby.

Everyone in the entire school came.

What was so sad was, I'd never known people had cared about me so much. Had I, I would have stayed. I would have begged Peyton to let me live with her- I knew her dad wouldn't care.

Had I known this, I would have told Lucas of my pregnancy. I would have kissed him, and forgiven him.

I wouldn't have ever cut my wrists.

I would have been happier.

_There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave  
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave  
I'm not sorry I met you  
I'm not sorry it's over  
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save_

And now, as I watch from my little spot in heaven, I watch life below me.

Lucas didn't get over me; not for a long time. Him and Peyton found comfort in each other, and got together. I wasn't mad. I'd sort of hoped for it to happen. He visited my grave every day, though, without fail. And our daughter's, which was right beside mine.

Haley was unhappy for a while, too. After all, I think I was pretty much her best friend. And during my last months of life, she was mine too. She and Nathan stayed together. Although right now, she's on some tour with this scrawny guy named Chris Keller. But she'll be back soon. I know her.

_I'm not sorry there's nothing to save_


End file.
